I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
