So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
