I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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