I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
