Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize