I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
