Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
