I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize