please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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