Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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