I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
