I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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