I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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