I don't think brook has ever known best
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
