Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this beer tastes like vomit already
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
