those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
