remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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