all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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