I just saw a hot homeless man
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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