he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
