so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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