I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
