Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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