She said her name was "party"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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