so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
