Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
