WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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