What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
