don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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