The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize