My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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