ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He passed out mid-signature
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
