So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
40s are totally the cure
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
