i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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