I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
