Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
