i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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