im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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