so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
