Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
