Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize