porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
