You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
