i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize