it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize