david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
