Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
