do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
