There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
