im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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