What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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