A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
