weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
