You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
