i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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