i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do herpes really smell.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
