she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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