am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
