Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize