dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
