You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
