I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
