i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
