I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
