i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
