guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
