apparently the secret to your success is patron
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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