Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
