I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
