Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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