Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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