I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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