God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
