White coat. Heels.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
