There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
