Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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